| Yes I know it's been a damn long time |
[18 Jul 2006|06:45pm] |
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trapt - stories |
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Well where to start~ I haven't written in here in over a year. I can't beleive it's been that long. Let's see...I work at a place called BeautyFirst and make decent money though I have nothing to really show from it besides clothes and stuff. I met a guy that I totally fell for little did I know he would turn out to be a jerk. I have a beautiful neice named Cecelia Grace. She is gonna be a knock out when she get's older she is puerto rican and korean. I also have a nephew on the way. We think his name is going to be Oscar but my bro and sis aren't sure. The past few weeks have sucked ass but it's helped me with my writing and stuff. I am actually writing in a journal and not stopping or loosing it. I am writing also doing some writing in my book. I have a few chapters done. So I guess dating an asshole has it's perks atleast you get alot done right? I hate working all the way in Rochester hills. I have no one out there besides my cousins and the people I work with whom all have their own lives to attend too. I can't wait till I take my classes on nursing and stuff cuz then I'll be able to get a job closer to here and actually have something to do on a Friday besides sit in my aunts house and be bored. I don't really know what else to put I'll write later I'm gonna go get ready xoxo
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[13 Jul 2005|05:35am] |
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You are sexy, powerful, and bold.
You're full of passion and energy...
Sometimes this passion has a dark side.
You feel most alive when you're seducing someone.
You never fail to get someone's attention.
Quick minded, you're also quick to lose your temper! |
The Keys to Your Heart
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You are attracted to good manners and elegance. |
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. |
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
Your Birthdate: February 24 |
Born on the 24th, you have a greater capacity for responsibility and helping others than your may have realized.
You may also become the mediator and peacemaker in inharmonious situations.
Devoted to family, you tend to manage and protect.
This birth date adds to the emotional nature and perhaps to the sensitivities.
Affections are important to you; both the giving and the receiving. |
The True You | | You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed. | | With respect to money, you spend whatever you have. | | You think good luck will definitely be yours, someday. | | The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort. | | You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked. | | When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you will search and search until you find your perfect match. |
Your #1 Love Type: INFP | The Idealist
In love, you crave a long term, harmonious relationship.
For you, sex doesn't come quickly - it takes time for you to open up.
Overall, you are supportive, nurturing, and expressive.
However, you tend to be shy and protective of your personal space.
Best matches: ENFJ and ESFJ |
Your #2 Love Type: ENFP | The Inspirer
In love, you are passionate and eager to develop a strong bond.
For you, sex should be playful, creative, and affectionate.
Overall, you are perceptive and bring out the best in your partner.
However, you tend to hold on to bad relationships after they've turned bad.
Best matches: INTJ and INFJ |
Your #3 Love Type: INFJ | The Protector
In love, you strive to have the perfect relationship.
For you, sex is nearly a spiritual experience, a bonding of souls.
Overall, you have high expectations for any relationship you're in.
However, you tend to hold back a part of yourself.
Best matches: ENTP and ENFP |
Your #4 Love Type: INTP | The Thinker
In love, you are honest and serious about commitment.
For you, sex is something you think about and desire a lot of the time.
Overall, you are pure in your affection and feelings.
However, you tend to be suspicious and distrusting at times.
Best matches: ENTJ and ESTJ |
Your #5 Love Type: ENFJ | The Giver
In love, you give your all and feel guilty when relationships fail.
For you, sex is not seperate from love and caring.
Overall, you are humorous, giving, and motivational.
However, you tend to be over-protective and critical of your partner.
Best matches: INFP or ISFP |
You Are Best Described By... |
The Starry Night
by Vincent van Gogh
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| fuckin A |
[12 Jul 2005|04:59pm] |
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Why can't anything ever go right//
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[21 May 2005|01:44am] |
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is my pic showing up as my icon cuz a few peeps were tellin me it wasnt
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[14 May 2005|05:15am] |
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teenage dirtbag (love the song) |
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i finally figured out how to put my friken pic on here...i know i havent been on here in a looooooonnnngggg while but im kind of a myspace whore right now even though its not letting me sign in. but nothin has been going on really..Jens back so im sooo excited about that cuz now we can all hang out like old times. i need to go to cedar point soon because its awesome plus they have a new ride!! my sister in laws having a little girl her name is going to be Cecilia Grace Bermudez im pretty stoked about that.
no luck on the man situation though. i need a summer lust dammit. theres not too many decent guys around here though. my guy friends are awesome but theyre friends ya know. and the one guy i would like to be with "doesnt want to settle down" so im kinda screwed with that but oh well...
im still lookin around for a new job dammit!
well lotz of luv! xoxo
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| I just want to say.... |
[13 Mar 2005|04:39am] |
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That The Notebook is one of the best movies i've ever seen....i highly recommend it. <3
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| hmm |
[07 Mar 2005|02:11am] |
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Its amazing how much in common you can have with a person and not even talk to them. needless to say i could say i had a good day on the outside but inside it hurts...i hate feeling like this. no meds could help it. i can take and take but it will never truly fix me. i need to cry...and good one too. i have so much anger and sadness built up inside and its so hard to actually talk to someone about it unless they know exactly how you feel cuz its not something that you can really explain. but whatever i need to go try to sleep and think.
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| this song is my new obsession |
[07 Mar 2005|02:06am] |
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no es amor frankie j and baby bash |
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Its early in the morning
And my heart is really moaning
Just thinkin bout you baby
Gots me twisted into things
And i dont know how to take it
But its driving me so crazy
I dont know if its right
Im tossin turning in my bed
Its 5 oclock in the morning
And i still cant sleep
Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me
Breathe ....i dont care
So helpless in my heart
I dont know what to do but to think of mi love
Baby...........
[Chorus]
Amor , no es amor (if this aint love)
More than my feelings (what am i doing wrong)
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Its just an illusion that i have in my heart
Now i know you know my lady im just tryin to make this right
I dont know what to do im going out of my mind
So baby if u let me could i getchu to say maybe we could ride together
We could do this all nite now i dont care if u got a man
Baby i wish ud understand
Cuz i kno he cant love u right, quite like i can
Its 5 oclock in the morning
And i still cant sleep
Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me
Breathe ....i dont care
So helpless in my heart
I dont kno what to do I think im in love
[Chorus]
Amor no es amor (if this aint love)
More than my feelings (what am i doing wrong)
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Its just an illusion that i have in my heart
I like the way u freak it like that
I like the way u freak it like that
I like the way u freak it like that
Its an up for sho
[Baby Bash]
Hold up let me drink
Shorty got me feelin less supreme
Where my candy, where my cream
Got your boy feel less supreme
Hold up wait a minute baby you so damn independent
Loving everything your representing
Got alot of money, i love this candy
And thats whats up and i dont care what people scream
No im blessin when im stressin
My superfly beauty queen
Im gonna keep it saucy
Cuz my money know how i do, we go rendevous to this song to you
[Chorus]
Amor ...no es amor (if this aint love)
More than my feelings (what am i doing wrong) what am i do wrong [echo]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Its just an illusion that i have in my heart
Amor... no es amor (if this aint love)
More than my feelings (what am i doing wrong) what am i do so wrong [echo]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Its just an illusion that i have in my heart
Amor
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| damn |
[05 Mar 2005|12:09am] |
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wow its been forever since ive came here. ive been a myspace whore for a while so thats where ive been. Well things have gotten a little better not much but im working on it. school is sooooo exhausting thank god for spring break this week i was dyin. my parents just got back into town even though it would have been nice for them to be gone a few more days. Markus came over a few nights ago and stayed the night. he is so amazing. i fall for him even more every time we hang out. i havent felt this way for a guy since the first marcus and thats crazy. the conversation we had today really brought me down though. i dont want to go into it but i hate having such deep feelings and not having them in return. i mean i think he likes me. but i havent actually heard it from his mouth. i dont know i just kinda feel shitty right now. its like im single i can go out and do anything i please with whom ever i please but not i feel bad if i were to go out and do something with some other guy even though i have no reason to feel that way because i know that he wouldnt think twice about it. but i know thats not the kind of person he is hopefully. i guess im just pretty ready to settle down with someone in this current stage in my life. i know im 20 and young and alot of people would say why are u ready to settle down your still so young go out and play the field blah blah blah but ive had my fun. beleive me ive had about 3 years of fun and its getting so old. i hate going out with people that have b.fs because i feel like an extra wheel. not that they make me feel like i am i just feel like it. and i know some guys that like me alot and that would go with me in a second if i gave them a chance but i just cant go out with anyone right now im trying to look for something that will last and someone that can show me the same kind of love that i can show them....i dunno im just rantin and ravin right now but i need to get this out. okay well xoxo muahz!
PS Jens comming into town and im sooo excited.I love you jen!!! xoxo
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[11 Jan 2005|08:32pm] |
 | You scored as Fall. You are FALL. You appreciate all that you have, and are willing to share with others. You are a friend in the truest sense of the word, and can easily focus your attention on those who need you, placing yourself on the back burner. You make sure your responsibilites are met before you allow yourself \\\\\\\'free time\\\\\\\'.
Fall | | 95% | Winter | | 80% | Summer | | 55% | Spring | | 45% | </td>
What Season Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| I fuckin love this shit |
[02 Dec 2004|03:46am] |
When you send toys to poor children on Christmas, or
help out at a food kitchen on Christmas Eve; you are
not helping. Let me say it again. You are not
helping. You are only throwing the rest of their
miserable life into stark relief. These poor, filthy
disgusting dregs of society, who have no one to blame
but themselves for their pitiful circumstances, now
get this message shoved in their face:
Hello from the rarified world of the middle class.
This is what your life could be like every day if we
really wanted to make more than a token effort. If
we were willing to do without one cup of mocha java
latte supreme every week, if we bought one less Oprah
magazine. We could feed you like this every day. We
could give your children toys every week, and clothes,
too. Your daughter wouldn't have to suck cock to buy
you cigarettes.
But we don't care. We couldn't give a shit. Instead
we collect DVDs of crappy movies that we will never
watch again. We would rather use our money to pay for
the electricity to run our elaborate Christmas lights
that we leave on all night. We would rather pay for
pretty lights that no one is looking at than help you.
We want to throw parties for people we don't like in
an effort to throw our affluence in their faces. We
would rather spend $20 on our secret Santa present for
that fat whore in our office who we normally would
never speak to. Even though the cap on presents was
$10, we'll be damned if we're going to look like cheap
bastards.
Or better yet, we'll buy 'gag' gifts like adult diapers
so everyone can comment on how clever we are, and then
throw them away. Meanwhile, you sit in that alley
stewing in your own piss. Boy, I'll bet you wish you
had one of these adult diapers right now. Instead your
privates are encased in a block of yellow ice.
Rich people love Christmas. We buy our kids and
ourselves whatever we want, and it doesn't matter. We
could give money to charity, and sometimes we give a
little. It doesn't really matter. We have gobs of
money and we need the write off. Mostly we chair
committees to raise money. You ignorant middle class
people give money to our charities. You volunteer and
work for free. You stupid suckers. And these charities
throw great parties to honor us rich people for being
so giving. Usually we get awards, and get to give
speeches about how generous we are. Sometimes we even
get little plaques.
You pathetic middle class sheep love Christmas. Your
lives are so dreary and dull. Cut down a tree and put
it inside our house. That ought to cheer you up. Give
the mailman a 3 lb can of popcorn because he looks like
he could uses 3 fucking pounds of popcorn.
The true meaning of Christmas is that it's way better
to be rich than it is to be poor. Santa clearly gives
better gifts to rich kids than he does to poor kids.
Unless you are Jewish; Santa hates Jewish kids.
In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit I'm a
practicing Muslim. Not a strap a bomb to my belt, blow
myself up Muslim. More like I occasionally tape a
couple firecrackers to my tits and light them off. But
that's only so that I know I can still FEEL SOMETHING,
you know what I mean?
I'm just kidding about being Muslim, but the firecracker
thing is true.
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| Bullshit! Jessie gets to be the hot chick and I'm some drunkin pussy. |
[29 Nov 2004|03:30am] |
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This is freaky...DO NOT CHEAT (You'll will kick yourself later) I was a little skeptical trying this, but if you follow the instructions to the "t" you'll be surprised!!!!
All of my answers were accurate. We'll see tomorrow if the wish comes true. I'll let you know. Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out! The person who sent it to me said her wish came true 10 minutes after they read the mail. BUT NO CHEATING! This game has a funny/spooky outcome.
Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It takes about three minutes...it's worth a try :)
First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.
Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!
1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.
2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.
3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.
NO LOOKING AHEAD...OR IT WON"T TURN OUT RIGHT!
4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family....) in the 4th, 5th,
and 6th spots.
5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11.
GO WITH YOUR INSTINCT PEOPLE!!!!
6. Finally, make a wish.
And now the key for the game.....
1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.
2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.
3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.
4. You care most about the person you put in 4.
5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.
6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.
7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.
8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.
9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.
10. and 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life
NOW...send this to 10 people within the hour you read this...IF you do..your wish will come true. If you don't it will become the opposite
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[20 Nov 2004|04:52am] |
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fuck artest and the stupid indiana bull shit basketball team....that was some crazy shit. bastards comming into our town and attacking our fans when they are what 7 foot something and beating the shit out of a 5 foot nothing guy for spilling or throwing a beer at him. and he went unpunished. shit i wanna be a celebrity and get away with shit like that.
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[10 Nov 2004|04:08am] |
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strawberry wine |
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i downloaded a shit load of country music tonite...i think its drawing me back in help me!! but anyways ive been really depressed lately and sucluding myself from everyone and everything. too much drama is around me and i take other peoples problems on as my own. its starting to drive me nuts!!!!!! im like two steps away from having a nervous breakdown...
anyways love yas!!
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[06 Nov 2004|01:11am] |
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im at my cuzins right now and everyone is playing poker. its almost over then im heading back over to canton. i have no clue what im doing cuz if i go up to dennys i think caroline is mad at me and i dont feel like hearing any lectures about not calling back yesterday so it kinda sucks. but i dont want to go home either cuz then ill just sit there bored and its a friken friday night. bean is a possibility but i doubt that theres going to be anyone or anything going on up there. damn being 19! its sucks! but tomarrow i have no clue whats going on. i think i might go out to utica to go to my aunts house but thats so far and so little gas do i have. so anyways okay i dont have anything else to write except i hate guys and i have a headache okay love yas!@!!! muahz xoxo
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| this is an email between my brother and his friend and i thought it was really interesting |
[04 Nov 2004|01:49pm] |
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mi viejo san juan |
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okay my bro will kick my ass if he found out i read this but it was on his comp screen when i turned it on and i couldnt help but read it.... my bros is on top and hers is on the bottom. ur supposed to read hers first so read that one then read the top one.
His:
He is "special" alright.
I completely agree with Avi. Except, I believe that 2% to the right is not an acceptable option. I think that it is a communication issue. IN this election, the Republicans did a tremendous job of extracting the essence from a few radicalizing issues and translating that in to general/universal concepts that were acceptable to many and polarizing to the base. So abortion and discrimination against homosexuals and bombing Arabs were specific issues that got a good hunk of their base all reved up. But they turned moderate thinking folks off. So George and karl asked what lies behind those beliefs. The answer was some sense of religious morality that centers around the christian family. Those divisive issues were less blunt because they were discussed in a broader context. Its not about hating gays but protecting the sanctity of christian marriage. It's not about a woman's choice but a culture of protecting the christian family. Its not about blowing little Iraqi's kids hands off or preemption or false pretense or milking america with no bid contracts, its about keeping good little christian kids safe froms harms way. It is immoral to put american children in harms way. It is immoral to take your eyes off of that central purpose. So Kerry didn't have to do something wrong per se. But he didn't have the protection of the christian family in mind at all times. That is his lack of morality to the conservative base. That is what they understand king george jr to be fighting for and nothing else matters. That message is communicated in the coded word of moral values.
But what is code to some is something altogether different to others.
Those individuals who spoke about morals were not all speaking about the same thing.
hers: this one is first
The Democrats seem to have two choices to me. Either A) Go 2% to the right,
or B) stay where they are, but find a better way to get that message across
to people. Part of the problem for the Democrats, at least in the last two
elections, is that they've nominated candidates that people on a basic level
didn't like all that much, and felt were "wooden" and unapproachable. I
like Kerry a lot, I supported him in the primaries, and I think he would
have made a good president -- but the fact remains that, until the final
weeks of the election, many Americans felt that they didn't know who John
Kerry was or what he stood for, and didn't have a very good sense of him as
a person. The Democrats need to find someone that has the personality of a
Bill Clinton or John Edwards with the experience of a John Kerry, because
clearly people do vote on the personality of the candidates. And Bush, for
whatever reason, really resonated with the voters on a personal level -- he
was just a special politician. I think (hope?) it'll be different next
election when the Republicans put up another Bob Dole.
Also, when we speak about adopting "values" into the Democratic party, I
disagree that that means that Democrats have to cave on basic policy issues
like a woman's right to choose an abortion or the government not publicly
expressing homophobia in its constitutions. I think we just need to learn
how to talk about values better. When voters polled in exit polls stated
that they voted on "values" and "morals," I think they're talking about
three things. First is policies, like gay marriage and pro-choice/pro-life.
Second is religiousness -- more than 50% of the people in this country
consider themselves "born-again" Christians, and they want things explained
with religious rhetoric, and they want their candidate to be a "man of
faith." And third is some vague sense of "integrity," which I think rests
in part on the religiousness/policies of the candidate but also on a basic
ability to get the electorate to relate to you as a person. Rather than
cave on the first thing, policies, I think the Democrats need to work on the
second and third. For the second issue, much as I'd prefer to see religion
remain largely separated from politics, from a political perspective I think
it was a big mistake for Kerry not to come out earlier about his
religiousness, simply to counter the millions of voters in small-town Ohio
and Iowa and Minnesota etc. who were going to vote for Bush not because
they're so conservative on a policy level but because they just felt more
comfortable about him on a gut level because he seemed like a Gd-fearing
man. For the third issue, I think Democrats need to better communicate how
their policies translate into values and vice-versa, and also how the
Republicans' lack of meaningful policies for the lower- and middle-class
indicates a lack of integrity (e.g. for the perennial problem of why the
poorest states in the country consistently go against their interest and
vote Republican, the Dems need to not only say "we've got better policies,"
but say "the Republican you elected hasn't done anything for you, you
thought you elected a man of integrity who kept his word but he hasn't; we
care about you and your interests, we have integrity").
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| bush sucks alot of nasty chodes! |
[03 Nov 2004|03:41am] |
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looks like were stuck with this fuckin monkey fucker for another 4 years...i hope people got off their asses and voted! im so angry right now....drafts and all this crazy shit. i wouldnt fight for bush if my life depended on it. they can shoot me before i fight for him.
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[11 Oct 2004|11:23pm] |
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only one |
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i know i havent really wrote in here in a while but theres really not anything new to say....life the same ol shit different day...i need a friken life outside of canton. all i do is go to the bean or dennys and drink coffee. ive been trying to find a job and nothing is working out for me. school sucks and i want a bf. im too picky! anyways thats all i have to say so xoxoxo
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[04 Oct 2004|02:56am] |
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jessiejazz's journal
drained
